It could be argued that the purpose of life is to be as happy as possible while navigating life’s inevitable ups and downs. Being happy not only feels good, it also provides a better foundation for achievement and the ability to provide care and support for others. Regardless of your life philosophy, few would argue that spending more time in a happy state would be a bad thing.
Happiness is elusive for many. Those of limited financial means think money is the answer to happiness, but there are plenty of miserable people with millions of dollars in the bank.
Misery is common among every demographic.
Happiness is deceptively simple. Perhaps you’re already happy but there are a few things masking it. Maybe you just need one more thing in your life to feel a great sense of joy. It might just be some negative thinking that’s fueling your negative emotions.
Luckily, happiness is available to everyone. This guide will show you the way to get started. The rest is up to you.
“Be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both, and you won’t have to hunt for happiness.”
– William E. Gladstone
Theories on Happiness
There are many theories on what it takes to achieve happiness. Doctors, psychologists, philosophers, and clergy members all have different solutions on what’s required to acquire and maintain a state of happiness. There are many ways to approach increasing the levels of joy and happiness in your life. Consider them all.
Which theory resonates the most with you?
- Happiness is a natural state. Have you ever seen a baby in a bad mood that wasn’t caused by hunger, fatigue, or some other form of physical discomfort?
- Many believe that happiness is a natural state. It’s the multitude of negative items on top of your natural happiness that are preventing you from feeling the happiness that already exists within you.
- According to this theory, you don’t need anything spectacular in your life to feel happy. You simply need to remove the things in your life that are a hindrance.
- Living your greatest purpose. Many experts subscribe to the premise that one can only truly be happy when they are living at the highest emotional level. This would entail finding your life’s purpose and fully engaging in life from this perspective.
- Your life’s purpose might be to help homeless children or to scale the world’s most challenging peaks.
- In this case, you’ll want to find your purpose and rearrange your life to accommodate it into your lifestyle.
- Meeting a practical laundry list of requirements. There are those that believe happiness requires a few simple, but meaningful, items.
- Someone to love. Having someone to love that also loves you is a welcome addition to life.
- Something to look forward to. The positive feelings of expectation are important. As children, we looked forward to Christmas, summer vacation, and birthday parties. There are few things that spontaneously occur in day-to-day life that provide that feeling of expectation. It’s necessary to create them.
- A goal. Human beings are drawn to self-improvement and achievement. Whether it’s a goal to visit Rome or learning to speak Mandarin, having a purpose seems to provide satisfaction.
- Good health. It’s certainly easier to be happy if you feel good and your health is intact. Make your health a priority.
- Enough money. What constitutes enough money varies from person to person. At the very least, it’s easier to be happy if you have a sufficient income to pay your basic bills and pursue your goals.
Lest you believe that more money equals more happiness, several studies have concluded that the correlation between happiness and money ends at roughly $70,000 per year. Making $200,000 won’t increase your happiness more than making $70,000. A moderate income won’t limit your ability to be happy.
So there are many ways to approach happiness. Rather than subscribing to a single theory, it might be worthwhile to incorporate the relevant aspects of each.
“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned,
worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience
of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.”
– Denis Waitley
Remove the Negative
As a first step, rather than focusing on the addition of positive things to your life, examine the parts of your life that you believe are making you unhappy. Getting rid of those things that are limiting your happiness is analogous to dropping extra pounds before climbing a mountain. Allow the good things in your life room to breathe.
Evaluate these parts of your life:
- Relationships and social life. Consider all your relationships. One harmful relationship can really damper your happiness.
- Romantic: Are you happy with your spouse or your significant other? Are you lacking a partner and believe that loneliness is an issue?
- Family and friends: Are the relationships with your family and friends adding to your life or detracting? How fulfilling is your social life? Do you get along with your neighbors?
- Work: Are your relationships with your boss and coworkers a source of stress or anger? Roughly half of your waking hours during the week are spent at work, so it’s important to develop positive work relationships.
- Are you getting out of the house on a regular basis and spending time with others in a meaningful way?
- Health. While some health issues can’t be solved, are you doing everything you can to optimize your health? Is your health interfering with your ability to enjoy life?
- Career. Are you pleased with your job and career path?
- Finances. Most likely, you’re not unhappy because you can’t afford a yacht. However, you could certainly be unhappy because you can’t afford to feed and clothe your family. Financial pressure can be a significant cause of stress and misery.
- Adventure. Whether your idea of adventure is scuba diving on the barrier reef or hitting the famous hamburger stand two towns over, a little excitement helps to keep us all on our toes. What do you have to look forward to next week, next month, and next year?
- Miscellaneous. Can you count on your car to start each morning? Is your mattress sagging and causing your back to ache? Are you afraid your hard drive is about to die each time you turn on your laptop? These seemingly minor things can create a lot of mental havoc.
If all of these areas of your life were positive, would you be happier?
Take a few minutes to rate each of these areas of your life on a scale of 1 to 10. The lower-rated aspects of your life are dragging you down. Before attempting to make any spectacular additions to your life, bring up the parts of your life that are less than acceptable.
For fastest results and to make a positive impact on your life, choose just one. Choose the one item that will contribute to your happiness the most and focus there.
“Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose
of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless
self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity,
since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty
to the achievement of your values.”
– Ayn Rand
Find Your Purpose
If it feels like you’re just drifting through life, finding your life’s purpose might be the solution. Imagine waking up each day feeling excited and motivated. You might never feel the need to hit the snooze bar again. Living your life’s dream is an excellent way to invite happiness into your life.
As children, we have a pretty good idea of what we want to be when we grow up. Astronaut, professional baseball player, doctor, princess, and fireman are all common goals at 8-years of age. Have you ever heard a child state they wanted to be an office worker when they grew up? Yet somehow, most of us manage to wind up with careers that are less than satisfying.
Try these tips for finding the purpose of your life:
- Get a piece of paper and a pen and ask yourself. Find a quiet place for an hour and take pen to paper. Ask yourself, “What is my purpose?” and write down whatever answer you receive.
- Write down everything. If your thought is, “This is dumb. It will never work,” then that’s exactly what you write.
- Eventually, some meaningful things will come out. Just keep writing!
- You’ll know you’ve found it when you cry. Before it’s over, you’ll come up with an idea that makes you cry. There will be no doubt when you find it. If you’re not sure, keep writing.
- What did you like to do as a child? Kids always have interesting things that occupy their free time. While you might not still be interested in playing in the dirt, you might like the idea of becoming a civil engineer.
- What could you do as an adult that meshes with your childhood interests?
- What activities cause you to lose track of time, skip meals, and wait until the last minute to use the bathroom? What fascinates you? Have you ever lost all sense of time because you were so engrossed in something? That might be a clue.
- Make a list of the subjects and activities that captivate you.
- What would you do if you knew you couldn’t possibly fail? It’s common to underestimate your capabilities. You might surprise yourself if you’d just give yourself a chance. The perfect choice might be something that you’ve successfully talked yourself out of. Reconsider.
- If you had one year left to live, how would you spend it? Impending death might be the more effective way to focus your mind on those things that are most important to you. If your time left on Earth were limited, how would you spend it?
- If you could solve one problem in the world, what would it be? There are many challenges facing the earth: poverty, hunger, disease, pollution, and more. Maybe the challenge that interests you is something you could grow into a profession or major hobby.
- Contributing to the world in your own, unique way can add to the degree of satisfaction you feel each day.
If you’re confident you’re spending your life in the way you were intended, you’re well on your way to living a life filled with joy. Avoid believing that you’re stuck. It’s not too late to find your life’s purpose and begin living your dream. Take the time to do this exercise as soon as possible.
“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not
possible to find it elsewhere.”
– Agnes Repplier
Create Your Own Laundry List
Make a list of all the things you believe you need to be happy. Remember that a well-balanced life is often more enjoyable than one filled with great achievements at the expense of other aspects of life. Being the world’s greatest criminal lawyer is great, but it also requires 80+ hours each week. Are you willing to give up everything else to experience that?
What is the minimum you need to feel good? Perhaps your list would look like this:
- $60,000 salary
- Take one tropical vacation each year
- Be married to my ideal partner
- Go out with friends at least 3 times per month
- Weigh less than 175 pounds
- Work in the medical field with a boss that respects me
- Learn to play the piano
What are your goals in the following areas of your life?
- Money
- Social Life
- Relationships
- Career
- Health
- Adventure
Consider long-term goals in each of these areas. Which would have the biggest impact on your happiness? Choose one and work back far enough in the steps to achieve your goal until you can take one simple action toward it today.
Making progress results in very positive feelings. If you can learn to enjoy the process of progress, you can achieve any goal.
“Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition
of life in which chance has placed us, but is always
the result of a good conscience, good health,
occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits.”
– Thomas Jefferson
Our thoughts and attitude have a marked effect on our emotions. By directing and managing your thoughts and attention, you can increase the likelihood of feeling joyful. Our minds are undisciplined, and it’s very easy to develop unproductive habits.
Spending time on this critical skill can pay off in all aspects of life.
How your thoughts can enhance your mood:
- Be grateful. The simple task of listing those things that fill you with a sense of gratitude can redirect your thoughts in a positive direction.
- Instead of focusing on the things that are wrong in your life, give attention to the things that are going well.
- Ask yourself what you’re enjoying in your life right now. Then ask yourself what else you could do that you would enjoy doing. While fun and happiness aren’t the same thing, they’re related. Enjoy yourself each day and you’re bound to feel better.
- Practice mindfulness. The topic of mindfulness has become very popular, but the idea has been around for thousands of years. Life can only be experienced in the present moment, but we’re masters at thinking about the past and the future.
- Focusing on the past leads to regret. It’s over. Let it go.
- Focusing on the future leads to anxiety. So stop.
- Strive to keep your thoughts on the present moment. Plan for the future, but return to the present and get busy.
- If you’re drinking a cup of coffee and fully engage in that experience, how could you possibly be stressed, sad, anxious, or otherwise upset? Focus on the task at hand.
- If you’re doing something enjoyable, you’re only ruining the experience by permitting your mind to wander.
- Observe your self-talk. Say good things to yourself. Life is challenging enough without making yourself miserable and imposing limitations on yourself. Be supportive and encouraging when you’re communicating with yourself.
- Positive thoughts lead to positive actions and positive results. Positive emotions are the ultimate reward of positive self-talk.
- Visualize a positive future. Before falling asleep each night, give your brain a target for the life you desire. Imagine where you would be and what you would be doing. While you’re sleeping, your mind will attempt to solve that riddle and provide the path for realizing your ideal life.
Be sure your thoughts are working for you, rather than against you. Happiness can be achieved with a simple, meaningful life, provided your mind is in the proper place. Your brain is the most powerful tool you have at your disposal. Learn to gain control over it.
“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead
and tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day,
today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”
– Groucho Marx
Additional Strategies
It never hurts to have a few additional ideas in your quest for joy and happiness. Some strategies are useful for gaining perspective in all aspects of life. If you need a little boost, put these strategies to work.
Keep these ideas in mind during your pursuit of happiness:
- Realize that life is short. The older we get, the faster time seems to pass. Wasting any time on negative emotions is foolhardy. There’s no time like the present to get started. You don’t have time to wait.
- Most of the people in the cemetery have been completely forgotten. Take a stroll through a cemetery. Consider that all of those folks that passed away 85 years or so ago have been completely forgotten. There’s no one left on the planet that ever knew them. Everyone that did know them has died, too.
- In the end, there will be no one that knows your attempt at a bestseller flopped, or that you made a fool out of yourself dancing at your cousin’s wedding. It also won’t matter that you were fired from the auto dealership.
- What do you really have to worry about? It’s going to end the same way. So enjoy yourself.
- Forgive others. The ability to forgive is a valuable skill. The person most severely punished when you hold onto your anger is you. It has been said that holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
- Avoid comparing yourself to others. Everyone has advantages/disadvantages and strengths/weaknesses. Some of us are late bloomers. Some of us have a different set of values. Comparing yourself to anyone else proves nothing.
- The only valid comparison is to compare yourself to your past self. Steady progress is the key. If you’re making progress, you have the right to be thrilled.
- Be kind. When you’re nice to others, you’ll often receive the same in return. If nothing else, you can be happy about being a kind person. You’ll also encourage the belief that you deserve a happy life.
- Stay in shape. A healthy diet and simple exercise plan will not only prolong your good health, but you’ll also feel better psychologically, too. Get out for 30 minutes each day and move around. Eat healthy for 2 weeks and then eat a bacon cheeseburger and notice how you feel afterwards.
- Focus on your relationships. Having meaningful relationships might be the most critical factor to being happy.
- Learn to deal with negative events effectively. Sooner or later, things will go wrong. People you love will die. You’ll lose a job you love. Or a tree falls on your house. Negative events happen. Dealing with them in a healthy manner is excellent medicine. Handling these types of things poorly can lead to misery and results that take years to correct.
Utilizing these strategies has the power to enhance every part of your life. Have a perspective on life that helps to ensure your happiness.
“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care
that you entertain no notions unsuitable to
virtue and reasonable nature.”
– Marcus Aurelius
Happiness can be achieved by many methods, but the basics are the same. First, eliminate the things in your life that are making you miserable. Bring all the aspects of your life up to an acceptable level.
After this has been achieved, find your life’s purpose and build your life around this. Develop goals that will create even more happiness when achieved. It’s possible to have an amazingly satisfying life that’s also very simple.
An often overlooked component is managing our thoughts. The things we focus on tend to manifest themselves. Expect good things to happen and be grateful for the wonderful things that you’re already experiencing. Your thoughts determine your emotions and your results.
Find someone to love, find something meaningful to do, forgive, and be kind to yourself and others. Create a compelling future and enjoy your life!
